Why Do You Write?

One of the first pieces of advice I received as a writer was, "don't tell anyone you're a writer," this person said, "unless you actually get paid for it."I thought this was a great idea, because as soon as you tell someone you're a writer, they start asking questions.

Wow. A writer? Really?

They are clearly impressed.

Well what kind of stuff do you write?

You've piqued their interest. They want to know more. You answer:

I have a blog and I write about my horses, my family, and writing. And I have a few articles published online.Oh.

 You realize they are unimpressed - you pull out the big guns. You confess:

And...I'm working on a book.

They perk up again.

Oh yeah, what's it about?

You tell them that it's a middle-grade fantasy adventure, set partly in this world and partly in a magical world.Their faces belie the thought going through their head: a children's book?So you decide, well, you've already lost them, why not keep going? You throw in:Oh, yeah, there's a Unicorn it it, too. And fairies.Then they give you that face, without even thinking of it. That Oh-my-god-did-she-just-say-she's writing-a-book-about-Unicorns?That face.The kind of face I have when my uncle talks about aliens.You've lost them, and now they are trying to think of ways to get out of the conversation. They nod, smile, wish you good luck, and they're on their way.Basically people aren't impressed with the fact that you write unless you make a living as a writer.Problem is, it's kind of a hard thing to get into. The ultimate Catch 22: You can't make a living as a writer without first writing for free (i.e., working on a manuscript before you can sell it), but while you are writing for free, you aren't really considered a "writer."It takes a lot of time and a lot of work, and if you aren't currently being paid for it, that means you are unemployed. OR, if you are employed, you are probably doing something like stocking magazines, or working in a laundry or waiting tables, or whatever, then coming home and taking care of your family, cooking dinner, doing laundry, driving kids to soccer practice, all the while daydreaming about what your characters are doing in that scene that you might be able to get to if you wake up an hour early tomorrow morning.But if you are lucky enough to quit your day job for a couple of months, others in your life will assume you have all this time on your hands because:

You Don't Do Anything All Day.

And then, because you "don't work," you will get all of the extra side-chores to do, like getting that thingamabob fixed and calling the plumber and oh, yeah, can you (Fill in the Blank) for me??And then when you're not there they say to each other:

She calls herself a writer. She hasn't written anything!What she really needs to do is go get her hair done.Yeah, or update her wardrobe.Is she gaining weight?Are people even buying books anymore?

Or some such drivel. (It's not that you're paranoid, it's just you've heard them talk before. Or maybe you are paranoid. Either way.)Either way, I really didn't talk much about my writing, and then when I did, I let others make me feel ashamed for doing something so impractical.That was my mistake. Then for whatever reason, I just started owning it. I'm a writer. I write things. I hope to one day get paid for it, but for now I consider this as me building my resume.

And, yes, here's the horrible, shameful, awful truth:I have been working on my book for FOUR YEARS. Four years. God, I hate to say it. I'm truly embarrassed to admit it. I'm even thinking twice about revealing the truth as I type this. But I'm trying this new thing where I'm just open and honest. It's hard, because I'm so afraid of being judged--but I'm also sick of trying to make everyone on the planet happy except me.And, I like it when people are open and honest, even when it's horribly embarrassing. I LOVE this scene from Love Actually, and wish more people would be this candid:http://youtu.be/yVcieIZb3_UEverything else in my life, I have quit before I accomplished what I'd wanted to. And every time I think it would be easier if I just left this book in a drawer, I can't. I can't quit. I don't care if I don't finish it until I'm 85, I will keep writing this story until it's done. I don't even care if it's a piece of crap. Then I will just start revising.Do I think I'm writing the great American teen novel, and that I will have Rowlings-esque leagues of fans clamoring for autographs?No, But I do know that I'm following the 2nd piece of writing advice I ever got:

Write the book you wish existed.

I mean, somewhere along the line, someone had to tell Stephanie Meyers she was crazy for writing about young vampires in love.I would have read this book (my book, I mean) when I was in this place. The place between being a kid and being a teen. Ready for listening in on adult conversations, for making your own decisions, and ready for that first kiss. For adventure.But I like my magic a little more like the Renaissance Fair than Tales From the Crypt. I was scared to shit of Dracula when I was a kid. There's no way I would have read a book about vampires.

And I know there are tons of other readers out there who prefer their magic on the "happy" side. (Ever heard of Bronies??)And dude, seriously, when was the last time you heard someone say:

"I HATE UNICORNS!"You haven't, because

EVERYONE LOVES UNICORNS.

http://giphy.com/embed/VRcgZakrc21ji?html5=trueWhen I finish my book I'll send NPH a signed copy. Hopefully he'll still be alive by then.Meanwhile, I will be working on my book (and going back to school, but more on that later).Some thoughts that keep me positive and motivated:

• It took JK Rowling 7 years to write Harry Potter.
• It took JRR Tolkien 12 years to write The Lord of the Rings.
• It took Jane Austen 16 years to write Pride and Prejudice.

Not that I'm comparing myself or my story to these fine people and their timeless books!It just makes me feel a little better.But that doesn't answer the question - why do I write?I can't help it. I get so many ideas in my head that if I didn't get them out, I think it would explode. That and the fact that I think everyone needs to hear what I have to say because I'm so farging brilliant. So here I am, slaving away, creating the miracle of literature, bestowing upon you the gift that is my genius.You're welcome.---More Unicorn love HERE.So why is my book still unfinished? I went back to college.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today I was listening to a discussion on NPR about retail businesses being open on Thanksgiving day, and how right or wrong that decision may be. One of the things I love about public radio is the fact that they support open debate over many topics, with views from both sides.One person was saying that hey, it's a business decision, it's part of the economy, it's the way things are going now, with such a competitive retail market - stores having to compete with online retailers, yada yada yada.Another was saying yes, but what is it doing to our society when we can't even have ONE DAY where folks can take time off and spend with their families?The response to that was, well, what about all the people NOT in retail who have to work anyways? Police, firefighters, hospital workers, etc. Add to that the fact that many retail workers were jumping at the chance to work the holiday, for the extra pay. Who are we to say they shouldn't work if they want to?Then a comment from a caller came in, so angry and vehemently AGAINST the idea that anyone should work on this holiday, and that it just makes everyone look like greedy slobs, having to make money, or needing to go out shopping for that amazing deal only offered at midnight turkey madness. And how embarrassed she was to call herself an American, and lots of other vicious spewing.To which I say:

Can't we all just get along?

Personally, I think part of the problem with society today (yeah, I'm going there) is that everyone is looking to blame somebody else for everything that has gone wrong in their life, in the country, the world, you name it. The Conservatives blame the Liberals; the Muslims blame the Jews; the Christians blame the Atheists; the Blacks blame the Whites, who blame Everybody Else - and vice, vice, vice, vice versa.

DUDE.

JUST BE NICE TO PEOPLE.

I'm so sick of it. It's like a bunch of kids on the playground, all pointing their fingers at each other:

He did it!No, HE did!She did it first!

Maybe it's having a brother with a tumor in his head that puts it all into perspective. The Jews, Blacks, Conservatives, Muslims - nobody put that tumor there. Not even God. It just is, and it sucks. It sucks that he has to go through a week of heavy-duty physical therapy just to be able to remember how to put his pants on or tie his shoes. It sucks that his wife is so worried and stressed out that she had to be hospitalized as well.So when I hear people bitching about how horrible it is to want to work or shop on Thanksgiving, or, Christians telling people they will "go to hell" if they don't believe in Creationism or have an abortion, or Hamas bombing Gaza because of WHATEVER IT HAPPENED A THOUSAND YEARS AGO. Just fucking love thy neighbor and get over it.So tomorrow, break bread, even if it's with people who irritate you or done you wrong or stole your boyfriend. Just be Thankful you have someone to break bread with. Be Thankful that you have bread to break. Be Thankful that you have the ability to read this, and computer access. Be Thankful that your house didn't get washed into the ocean. Be Thankful that you can sit around the table with those you love. Even if you less-than-love some of them.And be Thankful that you don't have a tumor in your head.And if you do have a tumor in your head, I love you. I'm sending you a big hug.And be nice.Happy Thanksgiving.

Authentic Gypsy Dray Cart For Sale

I went to the AZ State Dressage Championships yesterday to hang out with my friend Peggy and cheer on her stallion, Eclipse:Eclipse and Anne did great and placed in their class. He was the only Gypsy competing, and although there seems to be a bit of prejudice on the part of some of the Warmblood crowd against a short stocky horse competing in  a sport designed for the lean & lanky, most people loved seeing him there. He definitely draws a crowd, and comparatively is so. much. calmer. than his hot-blooded cohorts, you'd never guess by his demeanor that he is (definitely!) a stallion. Nothing phases him. In fact, Peggy was telling me a story about bathing him in the wash rack at home, when a big branch of her Palo Verde tree broke off with a huge crack, and part of it landed on Eclipse's head. He didn't even flinch; just thought he'd gotten an early lunch delivery and started munching away. That's what makes Gypsy horses so AWESOME. :)Anywho, I was on my way home and saw a furniture store having a going out of business sale, so I thought I'd check it out. They are one of those places that just buys containers full of stuff from all over the world, and look what they have - an authentic antique gypsy cart! Pretty cool, huh? I couldn't believe it. They have it marked at a stupidly high price and I told the lady they're crazy if they think they're going to get that much for it. But I still think its cool. The real deal.Personally, I think it's very negotiable. If you are interested, contact me and I will put you in touch with the salesperson.Here are the pics. Click the images below to go through the slideshow. I tried to get as many shots as I could but just using my iphone in poor lighting makes for less-than-stellar images. Try to look closely, though - there is so much detail, the decorative painting, all kinds of little iron finials, and mechanical parts. It even has the shafts intact. There is some type of writing on the back, but I have no idea what language it is, and the store does not know the country of origin. My guess is Romania. Any guesses? Leave a comment! At any rate, it's interesting just to be able to see a piece of history.Have a great week! xo Heidi

  

Jane Says

Last week I was driving around running errands and listening to Jane's Addiction. Remember Jane's Addiction? God, one of my favorite live recordings ever is "Jane Says."

This is the cover to their debut studio album, ironically titled "Nothing's Shocking." At the time, it was a pretty shocking image to me. The sculpture was made by Perry Farrell, after an image he'd seen in a dream, and most retailers at the time refused to carry it. The album was then sold with a cardboard slipcover.I've been listening to them for 20 some-odd years, but the other day it got me wistful. It reminded me of my post-high school, pre-marriage years when my friends and I worked the late shift at restaurants, stayed out watching live bands in dive bars all weekend, and tried to make our Intro to Theater class Monday morning. Before Starbuck's, before everyone had a cell phone, before iPods, and before anyone realized that computers would soon be cool. The days of driving the 300 dollar, 70s-issued muscle car that your uncle fixed up for you. When we were phasing out of the super-teased headbanger concert hair, and going through our grunge hippie phase.I have another little spot on the web, called "Moongroove." It's a very different site, kind of a little happy place for me to zone out, collect images that make me feel good, and share some of my favorite music. One of the pictures I posted recently really made me want  to go to a concert again:

I mean, look at that chick. This image perfectly captures that feeling of having a great time. I used to love going to concerts, and I wanted to go again. But it's not what it used to be. It's expensive! And crowded! And you don't get home til 2:00! And...ugh...it's just easier to stay home, right? Man do I feel old.So I got lucky when I found out that Jane's Addiction would be at the Arizona State Fair. I could go to a concert, the tickets would be cheap, and I'd get home early. Better yet, I invited one of my old-school BFFs. Done!I have to admit, I was a little trepidatious about going...I mean, Perry Farrell's been in & out of rehab how many times? And he's how old? And what's the big deal about Dave Navarro anyway? I was afraid they would just sound...thrashed.OH BOY WAS I WRONG. They were AWESOME! In fact, I couldn't believe how great they sounded. I guess that's one of the good things about going to see a band that made their way by playing live gigs; they just know how to do it. And not only did they sound great, they were fun to watch as well. Dave Navarro just rips on that guitar, and Perry, well, Perry could be his own show. I don't think I have ever seen a concert where the lead singer was enjoying himself so immensely. I mean, he was smiling the whole time. The dude was just having fun and loving life. And you know what? It didn't stop with him. That's the thing about good energy. The whole stadium was having a good time. Everyone was in a great mood. It flowed out of him, and it was contagious.It might have had something to do with the fact that the entire place reeked of weed, but...no, really. It was an awesome show. If you get a chance to see them live, don't give it a second thought. Just go. And have fun.

Jane saysI'm done with SergioHe treats me like a ragdollShe hidesThe televisionSays I don't owe him nothing,But if he comes back againTell him to wait right here for meOr justTry again tomorrowI'm gonna kick tomorrowGonna kick tomorrowJane saysHave you seen my wig around?I feel naked without itShe knowsThey all want her to goBut that's O.K. manShe dont like them anywayJane saysI'm goin away to SpainWhen I get my money savedI'm gonna start tomorrowI'm gonna kick tomorrowGonna kick tomorrowShe gets madStarts to cryShe takes a swing butShe cant hitShe don't mean no harmShe just don't knowWhat else to do about itJane goesTo the store at 8:00She walk up on St. AndrewsShe waitsAnd gets her dinner thereShe pulls her dinnerFrom her pocketJane saysI've never been in loveI don't know what it isOnly knows if someone wants herI want them if they want meI only know they want meShe gets madAnd she starts to cryShe takes a swing manShe cant hit!She don't mean no harmShe just don't knowWhat else to do about itJane saysJane says

monte carlo photo credit